Dating is an opportunity to get to know another person so that you can decide whether or not you want to enter a serious, long term relationship with them. While dating can be fun and relaxing, you must also take the process seriously, and watch for warnings signs which indicate your date would not make a desirable long term partner. One such example is if he or she is a problem drinker.
What is Problem Drinking?
Problem drinking involves an individual who is unable to control their alcohol consumption, or their behavior when under its influence. Not only will such people drink large amounts of alcohol, they will become aggressive or violent. When people initially begin dating, they present a picture of themselves that is often not the real them. To find out who they really are, you must date them for long periods of time and see how they behave in different environments and circumstances.
Someone that has a problem with alcohol will rarely show it in the first few dates. But as days turn into weeks, and weeks become months, a pattern will begin to emerge. If you notice that your date always buys alcohol or frequently drinks until the point they become drunk, and begins behaving in a manner which is disrespectful or aggressive while under its influence, you should discontinue dating this person immediately.
Research shows that the only thing worse than drinking too much alcohol yourself is dating someone that does. Alcohol affects people in different ways, and even if your date is not violent towards you, they could engage in other activities which are dangerous to themselves and others. Either way, it is unlikely that such individuals will change, and thinking you can help is usually a mistake.
What You Should Do
The simplest, most straightforward solution is to avoid dating people who drink excessively. Those who engage in problem drinking typically have serious underlying issues in their lives that contributed to their behavior. They could be a former soldier who suffers from PTSD due to the combat experiences they had, or perhaps they’ve been physical or sexually abused as children. Either way, unless you’re a licensed professional, you’re not in a position to help these people.
Life is already hard enough for many of those who are sober; dating or marrying a problem drinker will only make things worse. A man or woman who is unable to control their liquor should be considered extremely dangerous. The cemetery is full of people who died while under the influence of alcohol, either because they got into a fight while drunk that result in their deaths or the death of someone else, or because they caused a major accident. Many heavy drinkers have died due to alcohol poisoning, or overdosing when they combined alcohol with prescription or illegal drugs. Do not take any chances dating someone who drinks heavily – you will regret it sooner or later.